I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
