True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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