Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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