Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Everclear isn't food dammit
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
