The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
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