I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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