**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
