I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She bit a glass in half.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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