it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
