Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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