is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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