A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She said her name was "party"
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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