I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
