you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
this just has baby written all over it
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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