:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
