he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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