So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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