I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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