i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They took my balls.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
