is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
