yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
