Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Randomize
