I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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