:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
