The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
