Porn is love you can see.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
