I'm jealous of your bromance
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
