Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
