I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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