using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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