Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
