i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
