ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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