I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
