those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
