Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
