I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
