Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
