I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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