shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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