Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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