I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
