I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
dude. I can hear the air.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
