Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
