You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
