Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
