i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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