Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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