Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
