So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
